PMDU Dungeon 1

Alex the Combusken was sorely resisting the urge to melt down the golden door he was shoving himself against.  Sure, it was grand and shiny and imposing.  It was also made of one of the stupider materials possible, next to maybe barbed wire or feces.  It was a soft metal, which was already starting to show claw marks from the teams that had come before him and Cosé.  And it was heavy.  As.  Shit.

The guilds had been warned of a number of Barboach threatening anyone attempting to make an expedition through the dungeon.  Alex had to take the threat seriously.  His coat would offer some protection against potential attacks, but his face was still vulnerable.  It wouldn’t take much water to seriously injure him.

The plan was to use Flash Step, Alex’s modified use of the move Double Team, to slip a meter or so inside the dungeon, to survey the room before he could be targeted.  But Flash Step still required an opening that he could potentially physically move through.  Getting that opening was taking a lot more time than Alex was comfortable with.

“Well, I don’t smell anyone on the other side,”  Cosé Ascs reported.  Alex nodded a bit, but didn’t let himself relax.  He would declare the chamber free of enemies when he saw it himself.

After some painfully long seconds of shoving against the door, Alex finally succeeded in warping into the dungeon.  He held his right hand out, and lit it on fire, casting the dark room into the faintest of light.  His left arm, clad in a specialized bronze gauntlet, hovered behind his back.  He bobbed around, trying to make himself a more difficult target.

The precaution ended up being unnecessary.  The gray, rocky chamber Alex found himself in was more or less featureless, and completely devoid of any other Pokemon, hostile or otherwise.

“Clear,"  Alex said.  Cosé approached the door, butting it with his head to force the opening a bit wider.  The Mareep shoved his way into the chamber, and held his tail up in the air.  The orange orb on its tip lit up, casting the room into a light that didn’t consume considerable amounts of oxygen.  Alex, therefore, extinguished his own hand.

“Well, this is cool.  I guess,”  Cosé said,  “Gotta be honest, with the extravagantly carved gold door, I was expecting a bit more than a featureless room.”

“There may yet be something of interest in this chamber,”  Alex said,  “Traps, in particular, should not be obvious.”

“Still, I was expecting something more excit-WHOA!”

The ground beneath Cosé cracked, and vented air.  The mareep fell into a pit of goo, as the floor surrounding him collapsed over a pliable membrane.  The well of sticky, viscous fluid he’d been dunked in gradually evened out.

“Not what I had in mind!”  Cosé shouted.

Alex’s core body temperature exceeded one thousand degrees Celsius.  It felt like ice in his veins.  As Cosé fell into the bubble trap, bits of Alex’s mind systematically shut down, until all that was left was that which could get his friend out of the trap alive.

“Cosé, don’t struggle,”  Alex said,  “That’s spoolstone ore.  Moving will draw the polymer chains. You could get tangled and drown.”

Alex approached the edge of the pit, and started scratching at the ground one talon at a time.  At an impressive pace, he dug his way through the rock, reaching the surface of the spoolstone ore deposit.
“Alright.  You’ve got a plan,”  Cosé said,  “Right?”

Alex reached into the goo, and drew a glob out of the deposit.  The ore became noticeably stringy – moreso with repeated draws.

“Alex?”  Cosé said.  Alex’s brain registered Cosé’s call, determined it to be irrelevant to the task at hand, and ignored it.

After a short while, Alex had a sizeable cord of spoolstone, which he then set to the side.  He tapped his left arm to the back of his coat, releasing a boomerang-shaped object that had been clamped to the fabric and magnetically securing it to his gauntlet.

“Oh.  I see,”  Cosé said.

Alex took the spoolstone cord he’d fashioned, and tied it to the instrument now mounted on his arm.  He grabbed his left arm with his right, and pressed a button on the underside of his gauntlet.  The magnetic clamps disengaged, and two chargestone dust charges sparked, igniting rocket motors at the tips of the wings.  The instrument flew off, dragging the spoolstone cord with it past Cosé.

Once the cord settled near him, Cosé reached over to it, looping it around his front legs.  Alex dug into the ledge he’d made, and pulled his friend over to safety.

“Fwew.  That was fun,”  Cosé said.  Alex took a seat over the pit, breathing, not even looking at his friend.  He just looked at the remains of the rocket, now glowing red-hot.

“Alex?”  Cosé asked,  “You OK?”

Cosé might have been a light breeze for all Alex reacted.

“Th-“

“YOU DON’T STEP ONE HOOF WHERE I HAVEN’T BEEN!”  Alex said, his head snapping to glare at Cosé,  “I can teleport out of danger.  You can’t.  Do you understand?”

“…Yes,”  Cosé said.

Team Boundary sat in silence for a moment.

“We… let’s just get going,”  Alex said.  Cosé nearly shuddered in relief, though he tried to contain himself for his friend.

Alex and Cosé crawled away from the pit.  They headed over to the next door – a decrypt assembly of wooden planks, contrasting with the golden fixture at the dungeon entrance.  Once Alex had tested the path, Cosé hopped up on the door, and sniffed through a window at the top.

“Smells like company,”  Cosé said,  “And ammonia.  You’d think they’d change the water in their carts a little more…”

Cosé hopped down from the door, twirled around a bit, and held his tail just in front of the doorway.  Alex swung the door open, and Cosé generated an orange forcefield in its place.  The light from Cosé’s tail was able to penetrate the field and back, revealing one serpentine fish in a water-filled bowl on wheels.  The Barboach raised its head towards the doorway, a blank look on its fishy face.

“Hey, I was taking a n – I mean,”  The Barboach said,  “Who goes there?”

“’Who goes there’?”  Cosé said,  “You rehearsing for a play?”

“Yeah,”  The Barboach said,  “It’s a play about me kicking your butts if you don’t scram.”

“Dude.  If your buttkickery is anything like your snappy comeback skills, yeah, good luck with-"

The Barboach spat a bullet of water, splashing Cosé in the face.  The Mareep recoiled at the cold, slightly slimy fluid, as Alex winced from a couple of drops landing and immediately boiling on his face.
That was quite enough for Alex.  He aimed his arm at the Barboach’s cart, and launched a jet of fire.  The sizzle of water boiling under burning fuel quickly became audible.  And then a flop, as the Barboach leapt from his bowl.

“Let’s, um, call it a draw,”  The Barboach said,  “I’ll let you go onto the next room – if you don’t dawdle.”

“Yeah, we one-shot you,”  Cosé said,  “I think we’re going to dawdle as much as we damn please.”

“You didn’t one-shot me,”  the Barboach said,  “You just… pointed out how unpleasant fighting would be.  For all of us.”

“We can skip this room,”  Alex said,  “We still have more cave to go.”

Cosé gave a sheepy shrug, and the Pokemon-repelling field in the doorway collapsed into blobby streams, as a soap film might.

Alex and Cosé walked into the chamber, and watched the Barboach carefully as they crept their way towards the next door.  The barboach stared at them in turn, up until the point Alex opened the wooden door and Team Boundary left the chamber.

Alex charged into the next chamber, hands alight.  The path he took was a swerving beeline, an attempt to clear ground for Cosé as quickly as possible before any hostile Pokemon could respond.  

Once again, the chamber was deserted, barren except for a handful of pink-ish mushrooms.  Once Cosé walked into the room, he looked over at the fungi, eyebrows raised.

“Hey Alex,”  Cosé asked,  “How much do you know about fleshcaps.”

“I know of several ways to prepare fleshcaps,”  Alex said,  “I think they’re still kind of mysterious.  They have some of the same proteins as muscle, but I haven’t heard of any theories as to what those proteins actually-”

A bolt of electricity jumped from Cosé’s tail, zapping the ground near a cluster of fleshcaps.  The mushrooms distinctly tensed up into a more ball-like shape, and relaxed after a few seconds.

“Can you do that again?”  Alex asked.  Cosé let off another bolt, and the fleshcaps flexed once again.
“So, the fleshcaps have muscle proteins, and respond to electrical signals,”  Cosé said,  “Wanna bet those two things are related?”

“I do think it warrants further investigation,”  Alex said,  “But there is something else I would prefer to experiment with first.  Shall we move on?”

“Oh, please do.  I have been waiting to see who these… teams… are that keep getting past my subjects.”

“Oh,”  Cosé said,  “Hi, Wussy.”

”That is King Wussy Wiskey Montgeomery Mudsuckery Sedimus Munge the Fourth.  If you don’t mind.”

“Yeah, that,”  Cosé said,  “What do you think, Alex?  Do we go meet our gracious host?”

“I think I’d prefer to confront him now that he’s announced his presence than risk being blind-sided by him after a serious loss,”  Alex said.

“Well then.  Let’s go meet the Mud King,”  Cosé said.

There was no door separating Wussy’s chamber from where Alex and Cosé had been.  The duo stepped into the chamber, carefully watching their opposition – consisting of Wussy himself and a barboach nearly as massive as the whiscash king, both sitting in cast iron carts.

“Well hello there,”  Wussy said,  “So who are you?”

“Aleph and Cole,”  Alex said, turning stone cold.  He adopted the persona of an assassin, as easily as putting on a mask,  “Hunter team.  We need to talk about your response towards the expeditions conducted by the people of Andaalust.”

“I don't see what there is to discuss,”  Wussy said,  “I am the rightful owner of this cave system.  You are trespassing.”

“You're an idiot,”  Cosé said,  “International law designates dungeons as neutral territory.  You can't own this place; nobody can.  You can own a farm in the dungeon, as long as it doesn't interfere with commerce.”

“Hm,”  Wussy said,  “I remember signing no treaty agreeing to such.”

“You have no legitimate claim to this dungeon,”  Alex said,  “Your only means of control here is force.  Are you prepared to fight all of Andaalust over this dungeon?”

Wussy flexed a fin under his whiskered mouth, and stared off into space for a second.  Then he looked back at Team Boundary, and set off a shockwave.  The ground heaved underneath Alex and Cosé, throwing the pair back several feet.

Alex rolled on the ground, quickly regaining control over his momentum.  He Flash Stepped to the left, leaped up, and doused Wussy's tank in Flamethrower fuel.  The whiscash reacted with a mix of indifference and a squirm of content.  The barboach, meanwhile, spat a bullet of water at Alex.

The water struck Alex in the chest, hard enough to sting.  More painful, though, was the water splashing onto his face.  The Combusken promptly Flash-Stepped to the side, and the water that hadn't boiled off fell to the ground where he'd been.

Cosé lifted his tail up, and played thundershocks to the tune of 'Shave and a haircut'.  This both got Wussy's and the barboach's attention, and sent a signal to Alex.  At the last note, Cosé flashed the orange orb at the end of his tail.  Alex covered his eyes just before the flash.  Wussy and the Barboach covered their eyes only after.

Wussy responded by setting off another shockwave.  Alex felt the ground start to shift beneath him, and hopped up before he could be thrown around.  Cosé was not so nimble, and crashed into the wall of the chamber.  The Mareep tried to get up, only to collapse back onto the ground, the light from his tail flickering.

Alex reached into the right pocket of his coat.  He pulled out a small case, clinking in his hand, and held it up for Wussy and the barboach to see.

“Wait,”  Alex said,  “Six ounces of solid, twenty-four carat gold.  You can take it as toll.  Just... let us through.”

“Aleph, what the crap?”  Cosé groaned,  “You finish teaching these dweebs a lesson!”

“Not if it means you taking another attack like that,”  Alex said.

“This isn't about me,”  Cosé said,  “How many other Pokemon are going to get hurt fighting these guys?  You can end this.”

“This is all very entertaining,”  Wussy said,  “But I am growing impatient.  Make up your mind.”

“I'm not leaving until everyone else can get in without being attacked,”  Cosé said.

“Cole,”  Alex said.  He swung his left arm behind himself, and another RPG mounted to the bracer.  He charged  Wussy, leapt up, and fired the rocket.

The rocket struck Wussy, and the tip crumpled to prevent it from bouncing off.  It also triggered the rocket's payload, which rapidly became searing hot.

Considerably more disturbed by the rocket than he'd been over the Flamethrower, Wussy frantically tried to scoop the then-molten remains of the rocket out of his cart.  Alex took the opportunity to get up to Wussy.  He swung his talons at the cart, aiming for where the rocket was burning.  The metal had become soft enough for Alex to Dig through it.  To Wussy's relief, the molten slag dropped out of hole Alex made.  He was less pleased about the water in his cart draining with it.  He maneuvered himself to try and plug the hole, only for Alex to swipe at the burned fin sticking out.

“You... foul varmin!”  Wussy shrieked.  The Whiscash flopped in Alex's direction, and sprayed globules of mud from his mouth.  But his vision was still blurry from Cosé's Flash, and a simple Flash-Step to just above Wussy was enough to dodge the attack.

Cosé managed to jump up a bit.  Before landing, he placed a Reflect surface just beneath himself.  He wasn't quite able to land properly on the surface, which hurt – but it did keep him off the ground.  He placed additional surfaces around himself, which wouldn't keep any attacks from coming through, but would prevent them from knocking him off.

Upon landing on Wussy, Alex clenched his talons in.  The whiscash's hide, however, proved tough, and too slippery to get a grip into.  He leaped off just as soon as Wussy began to thrash, and sprayed burning fuel around his head.  The flames obscured Wussy's already-compromised vision, making Alex almost indiscernible when he dropped down in front of him.

Alex reached forward with his left arm, shoving his hand into Wussy' mouth, and squirted in more fuel.  When he took his hand out, Wussy coughed up a fireball, with a pair of flames flickering briefly at the sides of his head.  The Whiscash spat some more mud, which helped clear out his mouth, but also irritated his scalded tissue.

“What the hell, dude?”  The barboach said,  “Did you really have to go that-”

“This is your FAULT!”  Alex said,  “He decided to declare war, and you all just went 'Oh.  Yeah.  That sounds not insane.'  You took a child, and told him he was the height of society.  I did what you failed to do.  I exposed him to reality.”

“No shit he's nuts,”  The barboach said,  “What should we do about it?  Abandon him?  Let him wallow in uselessness?  He needs this.”

“And for his sake, you would screw over an entire city?”  Alex said.

“You meet much resistance from us coming here?”  the Barboach said,  “I know Surf.  I could have flooded this chamber and frozen you solid, but I'm not really trying to hurt you.  All of this is just a show.”

“And you didn't think to tell us that before?”  Alex said.  He took a few seconds to slow his breathing, to relax a bit.  He made a small cluck.

“The first chamber we entered threw a pretty nasty trap at us,”  Alex said,  “And then we had to deal with you.  Your little 'show' is adding anxiety that we really don't need right now.  Especially with Wussy not willing to play along.”

“Should we call this off, boss?”  The barboach said,  “Let the townsfolk through?”

“Hmph.  'Boss',”  Wussy said, his voice raspy,  “You want to... to protect my feelings, just... get out of my sight.”

The barboach spat a bullet of water behind eself, propelling the cart forward.  With a few well-aimed gushes, e navigated the cart out of the chamber.

“Wussy, I need to make sure things don't escalate from here,”  Alex said.

“You can kill me,”  Wussy said,  “Why not?  You've taken everything else away from me already.”

“Whoa,”  Cosé said,  “Nobody's talking killing anybody here.”

“Your death wouldn't solve anything,”  Alex said,  “And your incarceration would do little better.”

“So you need me to go to my... I don't even know what to call them now,”  Wussy said,  “Tell them to lay off your townsfolk.  And how are you going to do that?  Twist my cart into a shiv, stab me until I submit?”

“I hope it doesn't have to come to that,”  Alex said.

“But it's not off the table, you mean,”  Wussy said.

“To stop a horde of ground-types from sinking Andaalust into the earth?”  Alex said,  “No, it's not.”

“Where is this getting us?”  Cosé said,  “Threats of violence.  I'm taking torture off the table.  It's not helping us here.”

“So you're going to try talking the Mad King into sparing your town,”  Wussy said.

“Kind of,”  Cosé said,  “Wussy, there's Pokemon that can help you.  Who can work through your issues with you, make you someone worthy of your subjects' respect.”

“Psychics, you mean,”  Wussy said,  “Someone to reach inside my brain, play with it a bit.”

“There's a little more to it than that,”  Cosé said,  “I really think it could help you, Wussy.”

“Fine,”  Wussy said,  “What have I got to lose?”

The chamber housed an arch of white stones, the one at the top shaped distinctly like a skull.  This would have been where Alex and Cosé could have left the dungeon, except a boulder had been shoved against the opening.  Alex walked over to the boulder, ready to Dig through it, but quickly noticed the ground just before it was loose, and speckled with fluorescent orange.

Alex grabbed a metal canister from his left pocket, twisted the lid off, and pressed the gel-filled interior onto the ground.  A couple of orange specks stuck to the gel.

For reasons still unknown, buttershoot didn't survive well outside of dungeons.  But the sample Alex had collected would exhibit some growth before its inevitable death.  Alex just needed some of the enzymes responsible for synthesizing the azidoazide azide that made buttershoot so temperamental, enough to develop an inhibitor molecule.

Alex placed the tin back in his pocket, and focused back on the boulder in his path.  With a couple swipes of his talons, the boulder began to move enough that it could be shoved out of the way.
Cosé got down from his Reflect perch.  He walked over to the entrance, albeit with a discernible limp.
“Are you going to be OK?”  Alex asked.

“We're visiting a new city.  I've got business contacts to make,”  Cosé said,  “Nothing's broken, as far as I can tell.  I should be able to make it to Geoda.”